How to find a compatible partner, part 1
First, let me make one thing clear. Here. I don’t mean a sleeping partner, a roommate, or even a friend. Or even a really special friend. What I’m talking about is meeting someone whom you plan to spend your life with.
We’re all Christians here, and committed to living lives of chastity and morally purity.
So step one is: Make sure your potential mate shares your values on abstinence.
Abstinence just means, you don’t behave in anyway that would cause you shame, should your affection session be broadcast on the bigscreen in the church rec-room.
Yes, couples kiss. But when kissing turns into a juicy make out session, the hormones flow, and affection turns to lust.
Lust is great for married people. It has no place in your life if you aren’t married.
Another tip. Don’t get horizontal. When you lie down on a sofa, floor, or even a public lawn, you run the risk of getting some way too friendly- fire going.
I fully realize I sound like the dating patrol here. Why? Oh my. Oh my. If you only knew my weaknesses.
Christians are sexual creaturs (it’s really true), and as such, they need to guard against feelin,,,you know….all that sHaWangggggggg!!! when dating.
This is a topic no one ever ever discussed with me when I was a Christian.
What exactly, I wondered, are the rules. It would have been so easy if someone could have simplified it. Only holding hands? No french kissing? Passionate kissing for two minutes or less?
Obviously, petting in the wrong places was out.
What noone ever told me was, even innocent acts like kissing can lead to inappropriate behavior, if one becomes “stirred” (do you get it?)
So let me make it easy for you. When you start feeling that feeling. That sense of “man, I wish there were no restraints here, i really dig you”… well, that kind of passion is
Do you stop feeling? No. Stop seeing them? Get married?
The Bible does say, it’s better to marry than to burn. I think it’s obvious, you really can burn for the wrong person. That’s why it’s so important to know someone’s character before you date.
Sometimes, it is possible to do everything right, to just intend on being friends, and things flare out of control. You think about them all the time, and the thoughts just aren’t so righteous.
Is it love? Lust? Your “soul mate” calling? Only time may tell, but in the meantime, please consider the following.
A. Double dating. Now, this is all that some people should ever do. If you have a history of getting in trouble, or being inappropriate, or if things have gotten a little steamy between you two, then by all means, find some like-minded believers, and date together. (provided the other couple has the same goal of chastity as you and yours)
B. Always have a chaperon. I recommend an adult chaperon, not a kid. It’s too tempting when the feeling of love starts, to send junior off three blocks away to fetch a ball. Lust is deceitful. You need a mature adult around to keep you accountable.
I feel so strongly right now, most of you are resisting this advice. Please learn from me. It only takes a spark to make a baby, and be bound to Mr. Wrong.
Or Mrs. Wrong.
The Bible actually says to flee fornication.
Andy Stanley says, once you pass one stage, like holding hands to kissing, it’s impossible to go back to just holding hands.
The Bible talks about God giving us a way of escape. I think the way of escape happens before you get to the trap. Maybe God is warning you right now to think ahead and be careful.
Finally, ask our Heavenly Father to help you. Do your part, take precautions, and ask God to lead you to the right person.
Cause waiting is just no fun.